Synopsis: As a child, I was lonely. At 17, I decided to embark on what I termed a life-apprenticeship and, in addition, believing I was bored, which, I much later realised, was driven by a deep loneliness, this search for fulfilment manifested in two ways: 1. Hedonism; and, 2. Significantly helping others especially through systems. My life-apprenticeship and ‘boredom’ drew me to warzones – as a humanitarian aid worker, I went to Iraq and Liberia. However, Liberia deeply traumatized me. In retrospect, it scratched at other unresolved/unbeknown issues in my childhood. Eventually, I wrote.